Clear my head

Today, I need to clear my head; if the constant stress and headache of work wasn't enough, I have a life-changing decision to make and I preach next weekend .....So everything is a hodge-podge soup up in my brain.
Work is a flaming plane twirling to the ground, firing the last bit of ammo at any enemy force it sees.  Probably one of the biggest mistakes my boss made was hiring someone else for the office.  For quite some time I was oblivious to the ridiculous around, but having to explain the ridiculous and answer questions about the ridiculous you realize....it's ridiculous.  It's like you hear your voice on tape and your reaction is, "Do I sound like that?"
Then you realize you work in ridiculous, like up to your neck in ridiculous and that often pain in your chest or head is the constant strain you've put on yourself to somehow make right in the ridiculous; a necessity so you can walk past the mirror and not flip the bird to the guy on the other side.
So what do you do?
Money is money, bills are bills; people count on you to provide.
People say you need to do something you enjoy, but I believe that's a modern fairy-tale; you think my great-grandfather who shoveled coal was happy? No, he survived.
Yet, in the same breath how useful are you if you work yourself thin and even into the grave?  Sometimes you do have to stand-up for yourself and do what's best for you and leap into the unknown.

Days gone past

This evening we were gathered at my parents to celebrate my sister's birthday; can't believe my little sister is 34!  My mother had pulled out old photo albums  to reminisce, but it immediately turned into who looks like who.  We always notice in old pictures of my dad how much my brother looks like him, but now we also notice how all the next generation looks like their ancestors.
My sister then said something profound, "It won't be long and the kids will be looking at our pictures and will have no idea what the things are in the picture with us."
Immediately I remembered when I'd look at pictures of my parents or grandparents when they were younger and it seeming all foreign to me.  And now if you look at my baby pictures I can see how they would seem foreign: the style of the 70's/80's, the grainy/sepia colour of the film, old cars or obsolete items like rotary phones with cords.
As always when we get together, my siblings and I, we like to tell stories and laugh; taking turns picking on each other.
In a final heart warming dose of nostalgia we enjoyed my sister's traditional birthday dessert, Pistachio Ice Cream cake, my Nana's recipe; each bite taking us back to basking in her love.
Even though I seem like an old fool basking in the past I can't help but do it often; there's comfort and strength wading in the waters of the familiar past.

Here we go again...

Another long period of time has come and gone between posts and yet I cannot abandon this blog once for good, and I come back yet again with resolve again to be a faithful contributor.  In this roller coaster life, I find myself back in Birch Hills again after spending the past 2 years in Caronport again.  The effect of this move is quite odd:  although we have been gone for 2 years, it seems sometimes that we were only gone a mere week or so which then in-turn makes all the evident changes(kids getting older, trees that have grown) seem very weird.  The greater adjustment is having to in a sense start-over from square one with friends and social life in a place that is very familiar to us as some of our close friends in the area have moved on as well.  I have begun new work; this time I am working for Culligan in Prince Albert.  My new work has raised a looming question for many:  When will I return to ministry?  Some assumed that my completion of my Briercrest degree was to lead to bigger-and-better things in ministry for me; my mistake might have been in allowing people to think such.  The truth is, I don't know when a return will happen.  Being outside of ministry has allowed me to be reflective of my time within.  When people used to ask me how the ministry was going when I was in it I would often answer, "We'll know in a few years"  Well, a few years have come and I am beginning to see that my efforts were very self-centered and fruitless.  I realize now that I failed to really challenge people and encourage lasting change in their lives and don't see much fruit in the orchards I worked.  Most of the youth I mentored are not walking with the Lord, and the churches I worked with have often stepped back rather than moved ahead. So, it has been a struggle to grip a return.  And the only thing I can grasp and offer people as a response to when I return is that right now I am focused on paying the bills and getting Rachelle through school.  However, I realize the heat will intensify once Rachelle is done school.  For now, I am Moses tending sheep in Moab; once a person of significance, waiting for direction to the next big thing.  As for this blog:  I need to keep writing, even if I am the only reader.

Quest for the Best: Onion Ring

Recently I found myself craving onion rings, and surprisingly Original Joe's doesn't have such.  It was always too early for them before work, and I usually just feel like going home afterwork, so I finally fed my craving on my day-off.  Out of boredom, I decided to amuse myself by trying to find the best onion ring in Moose Jaw, but within reason; I didn't try every onion ring in Moose Jaw, but narrowed it to 4 choices.  So for your amusement I looked for various elements in the onion rings and ranked them accordingly; much like something I saw on a food show.
#4 Grocery Store Brand
I thought I should do a cook-it-yourself brand of onion rings; a person who was too embarrassed to order a large amount of onion rings could bask in their gluttony in the privacy of their own home.  However, there was one problem: I couldn't find any.  I went to the 3 big stores in Moose Jaw:  Wal-Mart, Superstore, and Sobey's (sorry Safeway, I didn't want to go back downtown) and none of them sold onion rings for you to cook for your family; I guess you have to make them from scratch.  This kind of surprised me; I didn't expect 30 brands of onion rings, but didn't expect none.  Perhaps it is a sign of the sad decline of this greasy snack that wreaks havoc on your breath.  I expect I could find some at Costco, but I'm not driving to Regina for onion rings.  I realize onion rings are best when deep fried and not everyone has a fryer, but more people seem to own fryers; perhaps people with fryers are above generic rings and make their own.  Anyways with nothing to try, grocery stores rank at the bottom for onion rings.

#3 A&W
I know I just shocked some of you; there are people who love onion rings at A&W like they love their rootbeer; perhaps this is where objectivity or difference of opinions come in.  However, let me assure you this is not a case of me being over-critical or biased.  Let me say what's good about their onion rings. First, you seem to get the most bang-for-your-buck; they were the cheapest of the rings I ordered and had the most rings as well.  Second, they were fresh; I actually saw the guy in the back drop my order into the fryer and had to wait for it.  Third, they are different; you can distinguish A&W rings from any other as they use more dry breading.  That being said, let me tell you why they are at the bottom of the rings I tried:  they're process is open to bad experience as mine was.  I know they're a fast-food chain, but I never know what I am going to get; I have had great rings at times, but this last time was one of the worst.  These rings were super greasy!!!  These rings soaked through their individual bag, through the take-out bag, and through the notebook they were sitting on.  The breading never seems to stay on the onion; you eat it and you got crumbs everywhere and you're mostly eating oily onion; which is true for many times that I've had them.  And this is always a knock on their rings: they are super, super salty!  I don't know if they are trying to increase pop sales, but I am always super thirsty when I have their onion rings.  I may have got the most rings there, but I also threw-out a whole whack of them. 

#2 Dairy Queen
Dairy Queen is the Switzerland of onion rings and this competition.  My initial thought was I can enjoy these with a meal, but I'm not going to go out of my way to get them.  For just under $3 I got 13 medium-to-small sized rings.  They had little-to-no saltiness.  I don't believe they make them in house; in fact I felt they were something I could buy in a grocery store and reproduce at home, but they were worth it.  I don't know why I don't eat more at DQ over other fastfood chains; their food is pretty good.  But for this comparison they were not bad like #3, but they were not great like #1

#1 Burger Cabin
The Burger Cabin is a local spot in Moose Jaw that is only open in the summer in Wakamow park.  People often dismiss local places like this for the bigger chains, and that is a mistake.  Burger Cabin is a throwback to pre-fastfood burger joints, and is reminiscent of some of the places you encounter at the lake.  That being said it is a great place for onion rings.  For $3.45 I got a dozen moderate sized rings, with just the right amount of seasoning.  These rings are beautiful; they are a textbook example of what an onion ring should be.  They were hot, but weren't greasy.  When I was there I saw the perfect example of their deliciousness when an elderly couple who had ordered ahead of me and upon receiving their order the woman instantly grabbed a ring, crunched it down, and smiled like she was 10 again.  So if you are ever in the predicament I was, don't waste your time and just go straight to the Burger Cabin for rings in Jaw.

When your server says it's the kitchen's fault...

I have spent time as a server (which I was horrible at) and I have spent time in the kitchen, including my current employment at Original Joe's.  Something I must stress to you when you eat at a restaurant: when the server blames the kitchen they are trying to cover their own butt.  The modern kitchen system is designed to be error-free for the cooks preparing your food; unless it is rang in wrong by the server, which it often is.  One of my colleagues in the kitchen was furious because their friend informed them of a meal in our restaurant where the server tried to blame it on the kitchen instead of owning up to their mistake.  Let me tell you why it cannot be the kitchen's fault: When an order is entered it is printed on a ticket, not hand-written, and it is easy to read; if you made any special requests for your order it is printed on there as well.  The ticket is inspected by supervisor and directed to the kitchen.  When your food is plated it is double-checked with the ticket before going across the window to the expo to be served.  In the expo it is again inspected according to the ticket and ensured that all details are correct.  Then after all checks it is delivered to you.  I don't know how many times we will get food back in the kitchen and it is qualified with, "the server entered it in wrong", but I know the majority of the time the server blames it on the kitchen to save face.  I mentioned before that I was a horrible server, but one thing I can be proud of as a server is I never threw my kitchen under the bus.  So the next time your server blames the kitchen, don't be so quick to forgive and tip big.

Shame on you Ford

Shame, shame, shame!!!  Next time you hear "Built Ford Tough" you might hear me hysterically laughing somewhere.  I have discovered something that I have always somewhat suspected: Ford vans are not a superior product.  Don't get me wrong, our van has been in many ways a blessing: hauling kids for our jobs as children's worker/youth pastor, hauling equipment for our photography,  or just convenient when we overpack for trips.  I am always quick to encourage my friends that are treading the switch to minivans that they aren't really that bad to drive.  However, I had always heard that when vans go bad, they go really bad; they bleed your bank account out like a slaughtered pig hanging on a hook.  I've always understood that I had to keep this in mind and sell my van before such a time would befall me; which is why I put my van up this spring, hoping to get my money out of it before it took it out of me.  Recently my van began such a decent; it all started with something called the "Transmission torque converter"  This part was a recalled part from Ford and proved to be defective in my own vehicle; Ford agreed to fix it for free and I thought this was great.  However, when in the Ford dealership all sorts of problems arose, like the power-steering rack.  The power-steering rack was no surprise as I have had continous problems with the power-steering since my first winter owning the van, so when the dealership wanted to fix it I thought it was about time I do so.  Figuring that I escaped a major bill with the other problem, I could choke down the cost and get it fixed; ideally leaving me with a like-new van that will run for years.  However,  once everything was back together the transmission no longer shifted smoothly and now Ford wanted to take everything apart and fix the problem; it will only cost $1000 to take it apart and check.  $1000!!! Are you kidding me?!?  These dealerships have no real concept of money; they think everyone should drive new vehicles and upgrade their vehicles every-year, so the idea of dropping $1000 just to check a problem with no guarantees of fixing the problem doesn't seem unreasonable.  If you are someone who has spent the past year as a full-time student or just any regular person, $1000 diagnosis check is ridiculous; so I ceased such a procedure and picked up my van paying for the repairs up to date.  To make things worse my van only seems to lock with the remote, something new which the dealership is not taking responsibility for and blamed it on the guys that towed it to Moose Jaw.  Basically, my hope now is that the van will at least get through the summer while we need two vehicles and then change to a different vehicle. 
I am not shocked by the decline of my van; it is inevitable.  It is frustrating to hear a company boast about how great their product is, but not stand behind their defective piece of crap, and seemingly gouge their customers by running up a bill.  So if you are looking to make a vehicle purchase soon, you should in my opinion not buy a Ford.

The Amazing Brain (As revealed in the world of dreams)

I know many people have said it through the ages, but the human mind is something extraordinary.  I continually have a greater appreciation for what it does.  Lately, I have been fascinated of it through dreams; I don't always sleep well or deep enough to dream, but have been lately and been fascinated by the dreams that have accompanied such sleeps.  The other night in particular struck me in my sleep and after.  I was dreaming about being in the neighborhood I grew-up in, with some people that used to live there as well.  I am not sure what I was doing, but we all had tools and tool belts.  Then in my dream I noticed on one of the others tool belt a remarkable thing:  on their tool belt was a tool I used to use when I worked at the Nursing Home in perfect detail.  All of a sudden, it was like my brain was struck by this as well and thought, "What is that doing there in such detail?"  To explain, most people believe, including myself, that dreams are a collection of your sights, sounds, and thoughts of the previous day or so; usually anything outside of that realm has no detail.  I was in my old neighborhood that day, I had worked with my tool belt and these were in detail in my dream.  I had not seen the people I knew for some time and they were not in detail.  I had not seen or used the tool in some time and yet it was in great detail.  So back to the dream, everything went on pause and the focus shifted to this tool in great detail and an overall sense of how and why in the dream.  I woke-up still amazed that my brain for some reason chose to pull that image out of nowhere in great detail, and then still remembered the dream in great detail.  Dreams are a fascinating thing; I wish I remembered more of them or had some way of recording them.  Should people figure out a way to record dreams it would be phenomenal; TV as we know it would be dead, and perhaps people would be more self-reflective.  My other dream was about my brother and I opening up for the Rolling Stones in some weird castle.

Please Rain

I never thought I would utter such words as, "Please Rain.", but you see it is quite necessary.  Now that I live in Caronport, I have relinquished my house in Birch Hills and in exchange I live in a trailer; a trailer that was built in the 1960's that knows nothing of modern building standards.  This trailer is also situated in the middle of the flat prairie with one meager tree for coverage.  Essentially, considering what I live in and where it is, I live in an Easy-Bake oven; with the usual south-prairie winds it is a convection Easy-Bake oven.  And so while my plea in years past has been for rain to stay-away, to not dampen my events as a youth co-ordinator or a camp program co-ordinator, I welcome rain.  I long for the fresh shower to dampen the ground, and cool the air.  I would gladly endure days of rain, rather than slow-roast at 350 degrees and baste in my sweat.  I am a large Scandanavian man who was not genetically geared to humidity and sticky heat.  I marvel at least in the ability to own an air conditioner which I have set-up in my bedroom.  So while my house is an Easy-Bake, my bedroom has become the walk-in fridge used to preserve my body from spoiling in the heat, and to maintain some comfort to be able to sleep.  How did the pioneers survive?

Another Small Town

Ok, I know I've written this before, but I'm back.  Much has happened in my absence:  Rachelle and I moved to Caronport to return to school, I finally finished my Bachelor's degree, and now Rachelle is going to school across the border in North Dakota while I hold the fort in Caronport (sounds like a t-shirt)  I'm about to embark on a new mini-career as a cook, and still unsure what the future holds for me.  However, I have decided that I wish to write more, so I have jumped back into blogging...all of them, and have included a new one, "CaronBORED".  Hopefully I can provide some interesting thought and not just write to myself.

Blackberry

I have a new love and it's name is Blackberry.  I hope it doesn't turn into an idol in my life, but I find my new Blackberry a wonderful thing.  Not only is it a good working phone, but I love the convenience of the data plan.  I don't live for my facebook and twitter accounts, but I do enjoy having the convenience of checking them.  The still camera is pretty good.  The convenience of checking stuff online while I watch my sports etc. is pretty cool; much easier than hauling out the laptop and powering it up.  The apps are pretty cool as well.  One in particular, is one that keeps your accounts in order:  lists all your different accounts, their usernames and passwords; so the only password you need to remember is the one for the app.  If you are like me with a hundred different online accounts at various websites it can be hard to remember for all the different ones.  Blackberry messenger is also pretty cool giving you much better options than standard text.  Hopefully you can get one too so I can add you to my Blackberry contacts

New York Adam

I thought it was pretty obvious to anyone that knew me that I am a NewYork sports fan.  I often wear a clothing or hats from the Yankees, Rangers, Jets, or Knicks.  I don't follow many weekly shows because I watch a lot of sports; New York sports.  One of my only nicknames besides "Nelson" was "New York Adam".  Why am  I bringing this up?  Recently on facebook people have been commented on my profile pic which is the logo of the Knicks; usually something like, "why do you have that picture?" or "when did you become a NY fan?"  Seriously people? Really?  I feel like these people have completely overlooked who I am.  I feel like that guy who came up to my brother and I all excited to see us and we had absolutely no clue who he was.  I know sometimes I can be withdrawn about certain areas about my life or I am selective in who I share certain details, but I'm pretty sure this part of my life was obvious.  My brother who doesn't follow sports still thought (and was right) that a Knicks hat would be a sweet birthday gift for me. (Which he gave with a Yankees shirt; thanks Jay)  Maybe it is a continuing sign that the internet creates these superficial relationships or the false sense that we really know someone.  So to clear things up: I am a huge New York fan.

Happy New Year

So, yeah. Pretty pathetic that I haven't blogged since September.  I knew this would happen eventually, but at least we're back in the saddle only a few months later instead of years. 2011 is upon us and I couldn't be happier.  I've often thought New Year's is over-rated; that the idea of leaving the past behind you and moving onto better things was really something you could do everyday.  I have no idea what is going to happen in 2011, but something should.  I really feel that 2011 could be full of lots of change and lots of personal development and growth or it will be really depressing because I'll be in the same position as I am now, maybe worse.  Right now I feel like we need to have a better year; I feel the resolve to do so and I hope that I stick with it.  How about you? Got any big plans for this year.

futureshop...hmmmm futureshop

I love futureshop; most men do.  For me, Futureshop is a fun, relaxing place to go kill sometime.  In the same breath, Futureshop isn't good; it can be a lot like an alcoholic casually walking around the liquor store.  I used to work at Futureshop and I used to turn around and give half my cheque back to the store for various things I had to buy; even with staff discount.  As I try to become less materialistic as a person, it's obviously not a smart thing to go in a store where at least 90% of the stuff is luxury items that a person doesn't need.  If I won the lottery (big "if" there) I could see myself strolling into the store every other day to buy something; probably why God hasn't let me win the big draw.   I know it's bad, but I'll probably continue to stroll through Futureshop time-to-time,  and unhealthy dream about crap I don't need.

Is it over already?

I can't believe summer is coming to an end already; well when I think about it I can.  I started summer with an awesome day of fishing on Canada day at St. Brieux.  ( Can't complain when you limit out on fish)  I spent a week speaking at Torch Trail which was great to be back to a place that has meant so much to me in the past.  I then was a Waskesieu for almost a week; had a great time with family and on the lake.  Then I was in Saskatoon, where my friend Devan got married; that was fun.  I was supposed to work at the nursing home, but I got hurt; it wasn't too bad, and I'm pretty much recovered now.  I then went to Cypress Hills and had an awesome week speaking at camp there; working with old friends and meeting new ones.  Two weeks at the nursing home went pretty quick, and put some money in my pocket.  And the last week has been some work around the house/yard while chilling a bit.  So, looking at all that, it's no surprise that summer is almost over.  I hope your summer went well.  What did you do?  Now that I'm back into the swing of things, I'll be more faithful to update the blog.  Check out the other blogs and some vids on my youtube channel; links on the side.

Wedding Party

I was in a wedding party this past weekend; it was for my friend Devan.  This wasn't my first encounter with weddings or wedding parties, like some of the younger folks attending; in fact besides being ring boy and father of the bride, I've done all a man can do in a wedding.  I really enjoyed myself this weekend, and in particular I enjoyed hanging with the rest of the groomsmen.  I find it very interesting how a lot of times at weddings you get together with a lot of people you don't know, but there is already a common bond: the wedding couple.  Because of that you often share characteristics with others present because the groom is who he is and is likely to be friends with certain type of people.  So, the same reason that made my friendship with Devan what it is, made it pretty easy to get along with his other friends.  Obviously sometimes a wedding party is very tight because they do hang out together lots aside from the wedding; this was the experience of my own wedding.  The other thing that struck me is how wedding pictures often portray this tight-knit bond, but is usually farther from the truth.  You might have one side of a wedding party very familiar with each other, but to have both the groom and bride's parties tight is rare.  But yet in wedding pictures we portray that we're all friendly with one another.  I can tell you the name of the girl I was "coupled" with in this last wedding, but yet I couldn't tell you another thing.  I wonder how we will come out in the pictures.  The truth is weddings are a wonderful thing to unite people and share good times; it's appropriate to call those involved a wedding party.

Nelson Lake Vacation = rain

It happened again; I'm at the lake for vacation and its raining. It's been this way for as long as I can remember; I don't really remember being at the lake on vacation and thinking, "Wow, it's hot out here!"  When I was a kid, it was pretty epic sometimes.  One time I remember being out in Calgary and it continued to pour and pour.  To make matters worse we were in this wide open field of a campground with the major highway in front of us, train tracks behind us, and planes taking off over us.  When mom and dad finally broke down and decided to get a hotel we couldn't, because it was Stampede week and nothing was available.  A lot of our vacation pictures are usually us soaking wet.  Fast forward many years to today.  I'm at Waskesieu for the week and it's raining, just like it did last year when I was here for the week.  I'm seriously thinking I'm cursed.  Or perhaps the way I walk is a subtle version of the raindance; that might actually be it.  Whenever I got to sit on my butt lots and not do much work; it's gorgeous out.  This is why when I go on vacation I pack alot of books, videogames, or my laptop to find a internet hotspot.  What else am I going to do?  Go fishing, swimming, or just bask in the sun?  I'm a Nelson on vacation, we don't do that.

Torch Trail Day 4

I have found myself encouraged and blessed by the staff here at Torch Trail.  In a short time I have found myself impressed and forming friendships with some of people here.  John the director is someone that I have great confidence in as a leader for this camp, and would have felt much better leaving it in his hands when we all left.  In fact, I might have continued working here if he was at the lead then.  Tyler the programmer, is someone who would have fit in well with our programming staff.  The cabin leaders have a bond and friendship that remind me of my friends.  The last day and half, Rachelle and I have enjoyed hanging out in various locations visiting and being encouraged by these people.  Even though the faces are almost completely different (Tim and Heidi are still here), it's felt like old times a bit today. I wouldn't be surprised if I find myself volunteering here sometime or I would probably jump at the opportunity to speak again.  I would encourage any of the former staff I served with to come check it out as well.

Torch Trail Day 3

I was reminded today of the special faces that often stick out.  An unfortunate thing about working at camp is the countless faces that pass through that will remember you, but you probably will forget about them.  It's understandable; at least 40-50 or more new faces every week for several weeks in a summer, and if you return for other summers it greatly increases.  That being said, there are always ones that create a special impression on you, good and bad, and therefore stick out better in your mind.  Today I had an enthusiastic young man you spoke out very loud, but agreeing with me while I was speaking in chapel.  This young man is autistic, but he is special for his endearing heart and enthusiasm for life.  My mind wanders to many like him that I have had the wonderful opportunity of encountering.  Whether it was a french boy who was way too young to be at camp.  A troubled young man trying to stay out of jail.  A bully who just needed someone to care.  A kid who feels he has no family as he had been bounced from over a dozen foster homes.  Another in Fubu jeans who felt he was always in a fight.  They are memories in my mind, they once felt warm embrace of God in this camp, and while I have no idea where they are or what they are doing, God knows.  Praise God for this place where the sick, the lonely, the outcast can come and feel his love.  Blessed be the faithful servants that are the hands and feet of the God who longs to love them.

Torch Trail Day2

Shut up and preach.  No, someone didn't say this to me, but it was kind of my own self-motto.  Like I said yesterday, coming here has been a bit of coming home, but the temptation with that has been to talk about the old days.  I've been there when someone comes in and props themselves up in authority because they were there before you or had done it before; it's annoying!  Before I came I told myself I didn't want to be that guy, but yet I caught myself yesterday a few times doing just that.  So today I knew it had to be different.  I read this morning the beatitudes where Jesus said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit..."  I realized my job this week wasn't to pose as an authority on camp, but humbly present why we need Jesus.  The amazing result has been the opportunity to hear from the people here, who they are, and how they continue to carry the torch of ministry here at Torch Trail.  I preached the gospel tonight in chapel and everyone seemed to listen. Hopefully the campers allowed their hearts to be quiet and listen to God.

Torch Trail Day 1

It's good to be home.  After a long stretch of not being here at Torch, my return has felt like fresh air to my lungs.  That being said, the experience is also surreal.  Picture going away on a long trip and finally returning home; you're excited to be back at something so familiar.  However, something is different.  Instead of the usual faces you associate with home, it's filled with strangers.  This is the feeling I have here at camp.  There are a lot of things that are exactly as they were several years ago (the emergency procedure sheet in my cabin lists Ken and Louise as the directors), and there are some cool new things (wireless internet, hello!)  One of the most exciting things has been to meet the new generation of staff; especially the ones I remember as campers. When you work with youth and children you often don't see what happens to the rest of their life; you don't know if the gospel took root and bloomed in their life.  It's rewarding to meet young adults that loved their experience at camp so much that they kept coming back, year after year, and now want to make it a good experience for others.  Continue to plant seeds, even when it's likely you won't see the fruit.